She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
