I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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