So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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