Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
