Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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