apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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