i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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