Your face is a jimmy john
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize