i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize