I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
