I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
