Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
