I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
