distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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