Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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