Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
