i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
