Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
