oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
