Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
