matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
