I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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