so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize