It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
