Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
