haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ketchup is God's man juice
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
