Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
