i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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