I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
