So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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