What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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