also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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