using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize