Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize