Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
