just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
