it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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