you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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