Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
