would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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