eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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