Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
