yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
