im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
