I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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