Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize