Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
