Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
