in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
