the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
