I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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