Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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