I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
