Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's never too late to be topless.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
