No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
