Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
